What do you need to teach a blonde who never had an accident in 20 years?

Second gear.

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Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What do you need to make a crystal salad?

Onions, tomatoes, and a whole bunch of lattice

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?

Need to know ASAP.

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

Did you hear about the hungry clock?

It went back four seconds.

What is a million years like to you?

God: Like one second. Mortal: What is a million dollars like to you God: Like one penny. Mortal: Can I have a penny God: Just a second.

Accident Jokes More Accident Jokes

What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?

A: She moved.

Why couldn't they find the cheesemaker after the accident?

He was trapped under da-Brie!

Teach Jokes More Teach Jokes

How do you teach a girl math?

Subtract her clothes, divide her legs, give her a square root and watch her multiply.

Why can't Snape teach Herbology?

A. He can't keep the lilies alive.

Second Gear Jokes More Second Gear Jokes

What do you need to teach a blonde who never had an accident in 20 years?

Second gear.

Why is Joey Tribbiani a presenter on Top Gear?

It makes no sense, he's not a good driver, he and all his friends are always stuck in second gear

20 Year Jokes More 20 Year Jokes

What does a man and a linoleum floor have in common?

If you lay 'em right, you can walk on them for 20 years.

How are women and linoleum floors alike?

You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.