What does a guy want more than anything in the world?

It doesn't matter. He has to ask his wife first.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What did the car say when it's front wheels were stolen?

I don't want to go anywhere. I'm two tired.

Why couldn't the kid get in to see the pirate movie?

It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.

World Jokes More World Jokes

What's the cleanest country in the world (in the eyes of the Germans?

Nigeria.

How many members of U2 does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Three to screw it in and Bono to explain it to the world.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why are we here?

Me: Philosophers still don't know 5: No, why are we HERE Wife: Your dad is lost and won't ask for directions

Why were the 2 in love melons upset?

Because they cantaloupe. (The wife thought of this one... hopefully nobody else has posted it)

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

Why did the IT guy want to be an astronaut?

So he can find router space.

Where do you guys stand on the cheese debate?

I'm staunchly pro-volone.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did Ryu say when I asked if I could have some of his food?

SHORYUKEN***

What mistake did the chronometer make while it was getting along well with the digital watch?

It asked the digital watch for its hand in marriage.

Matter Jokes More Matter Jokes

Where do I lose my Arab friends?

I don't have any Arab friends, so it doesn't matter.

What do you give a kid with no hands for Christmas?

Doesnt matter, he'll never unwrap the gift