Whats the difference between a burglar and an ex-wife?

At least the burglar has the decency to leave you the house.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between confident and confidential?

Dad says: "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, THAT is confidential.

What's the difference between the strippers and the circus?

The circus has a cunning array of stunts.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Who slept with my wife?

and in the background someone replied "You ain't got enough bullets."

What did the man say to his big breasted ex-wife?

Thanks for the mammaries.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why did the young ghost leave the party?

Everyone started drinking boo's. Happy Halloween!

How do you fit 4 guys on a bar stool?

Turn it upside-down. But how do you get them off Shake the stool. (OK, I'll leave now.)

S Jokes More S Jokes

Whats the difference from a terrorist and a psychopath?

A llahu akbar

What did one galaxy say to the Lagoon Nebula?

Whats up M8?

House Jokes More House Jokes

Who's there ! Alistair ! Alistair who ?

Alistairs in this house are broken !

How'd the date go?

Not good. Too many red flags. *Flashback to her house being covered with USSR flags* I think she might be a communist.

Ex Jokes More Ex Jokes

What do you call some who's too pooped to Pope?

Ex-Benedict

Why did Marie from Everybody Loves Raymond never get a divorce?

She didn't want an ex Ray Edit: I meant debra

Burglar Jokes More Burglar Jokes

Who else would've stolen it?

You think a burglar broke in and was like "Cute top!"

Why didn't Kevin from Home Alone call the cops when the burglars came around?

He was running a trap house.