What did the necrophiliac get after his wife died?

Mourning wood.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What happens when a carpenter drinks with his wife?

He gets hammered and she gets nailed.

Why would my wife ask if I was wearing this shirt when it's already on?

Stop talking in secret code.

Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

Why do bears poop in the woods?

So nobody will see their bare (bear) bottom!

What has four legs and is made out of wood?

A horse.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What do you call a bee that never dies?

A zomBEE!

What is the similarity between Steve Job and Robb Stark?

They both died when they were really popular.

Mourn Jokes More Mourn Jokes

What's worse than morning wood?

Mourning wood

What happens when a necrophiliac goes to a funeral?

He gets mourning wood.

Necrophiliac Jokes More Necrophiliac Jokes

What did the necrophiliac have when his grandmother died?

Mourning wood

What does a necrophiliac say to confess his love for someone?

You're dead to me"