What kind of cheese is best to watch Lost with?

Smoked Muenster.

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What do a redneck divorce and a burning meth lab have in common?

Someone's losing a trailer.

What's the worst part about season 1 of Lost?

The episode.

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Why couldn't the kid get in to see the pirate movie?

It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.

How many bodybuilders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It takes four. One to screw in the bulb, and three others to watch and say, "Really dude, you look huge!"

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How is making cheese like invading Syria?

You get some Kurds in the way.

What did the cheese say to itself in the in the mirror?

halloumi

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What kind of bait do you need to catch a master fish?

Super Bait

What kind of court order would be placed on a pig in order to prevent it from taking a specific course of action?

A: An inj-oink-tion.