What kind of soldier doesn't need bullets?

The kind of soldier that's always shooting his mouth off.

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Bullet Jokes More Bullet Jokes

What's the difference between humans and bullets?

Humans miss Harambe.

What's the difference between bullets and everyone ?

Everyone misses Harambe.

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What goes clip-clop-clip-clop-BANG-clip-clop-clip-clop?

An Amish drive by shooting.

How do you stop a French tank?

A: Shoot the guy that's pushing it!

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How many survivors of nuclear war does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. People that glow in the dark don't need lights.

Who reads the news AND makes coffee?

Katie Keurig. (I know the setup might need some work but I just like the punchline I made up.)

Mouth Jokes More Mouth Jokes

How did the dog's owner know his pet was angry about having soap flakes for breakfast?

He foamed at the mouth.

Why do prescription pills always say "by mouth?

Where else would people put th... Ooooooh.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of country has a clown problem?

The same one that has 2 clowns running for president!

What kind of marijuana do cows smoke?

moo-dicinal

Soldier Jokes More Soldier Jokes

Why did the Romans build straight roads ?

So their soldiers didn't go around the bend !

What do you say to a soldier who doesn't turn up for Camouflage training?

Well done.