Soldier Jokes

What do you get if you cross a soldier and a scientist?

A marine biologist.

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What's the difference between Frenchmen and some toast?

You can make soldiers out of toast!

What do you say to a soldier who doesn't turn up for Camouflage training?

Well done.

Why did the Romans pay their soldiers in salt?

So they would end up with seasoned veterans.

Why couldn't the soldier feel his legs?

Because his arms were blown off.

Why did Will die?

Because the commanding officer told his soldiers: "Fire at will"

What do you call a soldier that got attacked by mustard gas and pepper spray??

A seasoned veteran

What do you call a soldier who survives mustard gas and pepper spray attacks?

A seasoned veteran.

What's the difference between a soldier and a sailor?

Ever tried dipping a sailor in a boiled egg?

What do you call a soldier who survives Mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran.

Where does Joseph Kony train his soldiers?

Arizona

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What do you call a soldier with long arms?

An army soldier

How do soldiers tell if a woman is a genuine Red-Head?

If it's red on top, fire in the hole.

What day do soldiers hate the most?

March Fourth

What kind of soldier doesn't need bullets?

The kind of soldier that's always shooting his mouth off.

What's the scariest 3 letter acronym for a soldier in Afghanistan with a 15 year old daughter at home?

IUD

Why did the Romans build straight roads ?

So their soldiers didn't go around the bend !

Why did the soldier salute the occupied restroom?

There was a loo tenant inside.

What do you call a soldier who survived pepper spray and mustard gas?

A seasoned veteran

Why so long face?

Latvian say, "I was thinking of my daughter. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby."

Why are soldiers always so tired on April 1st?

Because they have just finished a 31 day March.

What do you call a soldier who's survived mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran.

Why can't a soldier look wistfully across the horizon?

Because there are no gaze in the military

How do you drive this thing?

Two soldiers are in a tank. One turns to the other and says "GLUGGLUGBLUGBWOOABB"

What does a Soldier and a Shoulder have in common?

They have access to arms.

What did the soldier use to season his fries?

A salt rifle.

Who likes music?

asks a commander. - Two soldiers step forward. - All right. I bought a piano. Take it to my apartment on the fourth floor.

What does it take for a soldier in uniform to pick up a girl?

a smile and wave!

What do you call it when a soldier gets laid?

Tactical Insertion.* What do you call it when a COD player gets laid *Lies.*

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Camouflage Training Jokes More Camouflage Training Jokes

What do you say to a soldier who doesn't turn up for Camouflage training?

Well done.

The Sergeant-Major growled at the young soldier: I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning.

Thank you very much, sir.

Bullet Jokes More Bullet Jokes

What's the difference between George Zimmerman and Trayvon Martin?

Zimmerman can dodge a bullet.

What are french journalists good at catching?

Bullets.

Crucify Jokes More Crucify Jokes

What did they call Jesus Christ when he was crucified?

Holy

Why were all Roman buildings made of stone?

They crucified the carpenter.

Egyptian Jokes More Egyptian Jokes

What do you call a stubborn Egyptian?

In denile

What did the Pharaohs use to keep their babies quiet?

Egyptian dummies.

Roman Jokes More Roman Jokes

What's a pirate's favourite Roman numeral?

You might think it's II, but his true love be the C.

Why are 490 Romans funny?

Because XD

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between an original joke and a repost?

I don't know, I just click "submit"

What's the difference between Ice Age 4 and Batman The Dark Knight?

The kids walked out of Ice Age 4... Alive

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why do they ask you if you would like paper or plastic at the grocery store?

Because baggers can't be choosers,

Which Sri Lankan do Star Wars fans like?

May Theforcebewithyou.

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What do you call a lost Asian man?

Disoriental

Why did Michael Jackson always lose in a race?

Because he always came in a lil behind.