What's slimy, long and smells like pork?

Kermit the Frog's Finger.

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What's long, green and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's finger.

Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy?

Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)

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How does it smell?

Awful

When is it okay to punch a midget?

When he stands next to your girlfriend and says her hair smells nice.

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Why aren't there any Muslim feminists?

Pork is haram

Whats long and green and smells like pork?

Kermit the frogs finger.

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What's long, green and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's finger.

What's Slimy, cold, green, and smells like pork?

A: Kermit the Frog's Finger