What's the difference between a condom and a coffin?

Well, both carry stiffs, but one's for coming and the other's for going.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a German and a Scot?

The German knows when he's not speaking English.

What's the difference between Futurama and One Direction?

There's only one Bender in Futurama

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What is a moo hoo for steak that came late?

Filet delay!

What do you think about the coming battle General?

God knows it will be lost. - Then why should we go for it - To find out who is the loser.

Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

Why is it prestigious to wear a condom?

It's a members-only jacket.

Why are you packing condoms for a sailing trip with 10 guys?

I'm saying "Just in case." Now I'm traveling with a bigger case.

Carry Jokes More Carry Jokes

Why do police in the US carry a tazer and pepper spray?

In case they run out of bullets.

What did a police officer write in the criminal report, when they found a homey from the bottom of a lake, wrapped in 200 kg's of metal chains?

Offender stole more than he could carry by swimming

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What would George Washington do if he were alive right now?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

How did the midget feel after sleeping all night in a coffin?

A little stiff.

Stiff Jokes More Stiff Jokes

How do you spot Al Gore in a room full of secret service agents?

A: He's the stiff one.

What do a coffin and a condom have in common?

A: They're both filled with stiffs one's coming one's going.