What would George Washington do if he were alive right now?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

Why is your face all scratched ?

My girlfriend said it with flowers. How romantic. Not really she hit me round the head with a bunch of thorny roses !

What would George Washington do if he were alive right now?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

What do you call a guy who screams, "I love you, mom!" every time he climaxes?

Me.

How do people know spiders are more afraid of me than I am of them?

Like, did you ask him Because only one of us is screaming right now.

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What is the similarity between a cough syrup and an undertaker?

They both take away the coffin.

What does a condom have in common with a coffin?

Ones for coming and ones for going.

George Washington Jokes More George Washington Jokes

What did George Washington say to his men just before they got in the boat?

Men, get in the boat!"

What's the difference between George Washington and Nicki Minaj?

Nicki Minaj never owned slaves.(https://www.youtube.com/watch v=Gr1p4KtgOXc)