What would George Washington do if he were alive right now?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

What would Elvis Presley be doing if he were alive today?

Scratching at the inside of his coffin.

Why do girls rub their eyes when they wake up?

Cause they don't have balls to scratch

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

What did Helen Keller scream when she got mugged?

Nothing. It was winter and she had mittens on.

Why didn't Helen Keller scream when she fell off the cliff?

She was wearing mittens

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What did the casket say to the sick casket?

Are you coffin

What did one casket say to the other casket?

Hey, is that you coffin? Ba-dum-tsk...

George Washington Jokes More George Washington Jokes

What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

What would George Washington do if he was alive today?

Probably get suffocated in his collapsed coffin