What's the difference between Politicians and Thieves?

Thief: They steal your money then run Politician: They run and then steal your money

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a pirate and a necrophiliac?

I'm not sure, but they both go out with shovels to find the booty.

What's the difference between a seal and a sealion?

An electron

Thief Jokes More Thief Jokes

What does the Saudi Paralympics team consist of?

thieves..

What do you call a thief running down your stairs?

A condescending con descending.

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

What will you be using the money for?

Me: "A divorce lawyer."

Why don't U2's lawyers ever make any money?

All their work is pro Bono.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why are there so few Mexican athletes in the Olympics?

Because most of them who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States.

Why is it OK to wash an American flag in hot water?

Because these colors don't run.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What is the difference between the regular police and the secret service?

The secret service is the only police that gets in trouble if a black person dies. Shamelessly stolen from the correspondents' dinner.

Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?

A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Politician Jokes More Politician Jokes

What's the difference between a politician and a flying pig?

The letter F.

How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just two. One to explain to the public that everything possible is being done to solve the problem, and the other to screw the lightbulb into the water faucet.