What's the first thing a woman does after leaving spousal abuse therapy?

The dishes, if she knows what's good for her!

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's your best mattress joke?

Trying to win a new mattress in a contest and I need a clean mattress joke to win (dumb, I know)

What's the difference between a bus driver and a cold?

A bus driver knows the stops and a cold stops the nose.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why did a girl leave his boyfriend for a mushroom?

because he wasn't a fungi!

How much is half of 8?

Pupil: Up and down or across Teacher: What do you mean Pupil: Well up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What do you call a scientist that measures things in space?

A cosmetrologist.

What was the last thing a blonde heard before dying of old age?

A: "Today children we will learn our ABC's"

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What is strong enough for a man but made for a woman?

The back of my hand...

Why do women prefer old gynecologists?

Their shaky hands!

Dish Jokes More Dish Jokes

What do you get when you mix an octopus and a Mexican?

I don't know, but it sure can wash a lot of dishes.

Whats the first thing a woman does when she gets to the battered shelter?

The dishes if she knows whats good for her.