Dish Jokes

Where did L Ron Hubbard store his dishes?

In the L Ron cupboard.

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What did the Middle Eastern dishwasher say when his boss asked him what he did all day at work?

Iraq the dishes in the dish rack and Iran the dishwasher

Who's there? Dishes. Dishes who?

Dishes Sean Connery.

What do you call a man doing dishes?

Single.

What do you get when you mix an octopus and a Mexican?

I don't know, but it sure can wash a lot of dishes.

What's the first thing a woman does after leaving spousal abuse therapy?

The dishes, if she knows what's good for her!

What's a dish best served cold?

Air condish.

What do you get when you mix a Mexican and an octopus?

I don't know, but it sure can wash a lot of dishes.

What's the best part about buying dishes that are made in Mexico?

They wash themselves.

How does the redneck help his wife with the dishes?

He gets her Dawn.

What do you suppose Ray Rice's fiance' did when he got her home from knocking her out?

The dishes if she knows what's good for her!

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How can you tell if your wife left you?

You get laid the same amount of times but the dishes start to pile up. Hey now!

What do you call a "to-go" dish ordered from German-Italian restaurant?

Alfredosehen

What is the first thing a woman should do when she gets out of the Battered Women's Shelter?

The dishes, if she knows what's good for her.

What was the rock band doing at the kitchen sink?

Moshing the dishes

How many honest intelligent caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?

Both of them.

Why is revenge a dish best served cold?

Because it's just-ice

Why do petri dishes make good conversationalists?

They're cultured.

What kind of dish does LeBron like?

anything with curry in it.

Where did the drug addict keep his food and dishes?

The potry

What's a terrible plate pun?

dish one.

Why did Helen Keller stop cleaning her dishes?

She was running out of things to read.

Whats the first thing a woman does when she gets to the battered shelter?

The dishes if she knows whats good for her.

Why is revenge a dish best served with honey?

Because honey is what you find at the end of bee trails (betrayals)

What do you need to have to do the dishes when you don't want to?

Dishcipline This is literally a joke I told in a dream and I remembered it when waking up.

What side dish do frogs like to enjoy with their hamburgers?

French Flies!

Why did God invent women?

You think he's gonna wash the dishes

How Does Sean Connery Wash His Dishes?

Like a Bosch!

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Why are you being so salty?

Her response - with a flat, even look: "I've been well seasoned." I lost it

What did the cat say when he lost all his money ?

I'm paw !

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What do you call it when one piece of coal asks another piece of coal out to dinner?

Carbon dating.

What will it be for you, my friend?

the vendor asks. "Make me one with everything"

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Why did Kanye West blow up the bakery?

Because no one man should have all that flour.

What sentence did the man who took 2 minutes to turn around get?

Man .

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

How do we know that God isn't a woman?

Because we're not all sandwiches

What do you call a woman drowning in money?

Rich... Also an ambulance.

Middle Eastern Jokes More Middle Eastern Jokes

Why does Middle Eastern civilization have no major accomplishments?

What did the Middle Eastern terrorist say when he was captured by the police?

Oman!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a cat and a politician?

A cat will lie your face. A politician will lie your face.

What's the difference between zombies?

Q: What's the difference between zombies? A: Zombies make honey, and zombies don't.

Boss Jokes More Boss Jokes

What did the Italian chef say when his boss tried to pick a fight?

You wanna pizza me !

What do you call a nerd after highschool?

Boss

Life Jokes More Life Jokes

Why does Kylo Ren have no friends?

Because his whole life he's Ben Solo

How did the coprophilic marine respond when asked what the most important thing in life was?

Duty. Honor.