Dish Jokes

Where did L Ron Hubbard store his dishes?

In the L Ron cupboard.

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What did the Middle Eastern dishwasher say when his boss asked him what he did all day at work?

Iraq the dishes in the dish rack and Iran the dishwasher

Who's there? Dishes. Dishes who?

Dishes Sean Connery.

What do you call a man doing dishes?

Single.

What do you get when you mix an octopus and a Mexican?

I don't know, but it sure can wash a lot of dishes.

What's the first thing a woman does after leaving spousal abuse therapy?

The dishes, if she knows what's good for her!

What's a dish best served cold?

Air condish.

What do you get when you mix a Mexican and an octopus?

I don't know, but it sure can wash a lot of dishes.

What's the best part about buying dishes that are made in Mexico?

They wash themselves.

How does the redneck help his wife with the dishes?

He gets her Dawn.

What do you suppose Ray Rice's fiance' did when he got her home from knocking her out?

The dishes if she knows what's good for her!

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How can you tell if your wife left you?

You get laid the same amount of times but the dishes start to pile up. Hey now!

What do you call a "to-go" dish ordered from German-Italian restaurant?

Alfredosehen

What is the first thing a woman should do when she gets out of the Battered Women's Shelter?

The dishes, if she knows what's good for her.

What was the rock band doing at the kitchen sink?

Moshing the dishes

How many honest intelligent caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?

Both of them.

Why is revenge a dish best served cold?

Because it's just-ice

Why do petri dishes make good conversationalists?

They're cultured.

What kind of dish does LeBron like?

anything with curry in it.

Where did the drug addict keep his food and dishes?

The potry

What's a terrible plate pun?

dish one.

Why did Helen Keller stop cleaning her dishes?

She was running out of things to read.

Whats the first thing a woman does when she gets to the battered shelter?

The dishes if she knows whats good for her.

Why is revenge a dish best served with honey?

Because honey is what you find at the end of bee trails (betrayals)

What do you need to have to do the dishes when you don't want to?

Dishcipline This is literally a joke I told in a dream and I remembered it when waking up.

What side dish do frogs like to enjoy with their hamburgers?

French Flies!

Why did God invent women?

You think he's gonna wash the dishes

How Does Sean Connery Wash His Dishes?

Like a Bosch!

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What's Hillary's thoughts about her campaign?

Iran, Iraq, I lost

How do you stop Iran from building a nuclear reactor?

Send them the Fine Brothers.

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What present can you give to the woman who has everything?

Antibiotics.

What is the difference between a woman and a washing machine?

You don't have to hug a washing machine half an hour after it finishes

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Why did a kid get arrested for taking a home made clock into school?

Sounds like he had already done the... time

Why was the energizer bunny arrested?

He got a battery charge.

Life Jokes More Life Jokes

Why does Dracula always travel with his coffin?

Because his life is at stake.

What do you call someone who isn't a redhead but colors there hair red later in life?

A trans-ginger

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

How can you make so many mistakes in just one day ?

Pupil: I get up early !

Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security?

Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them.

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What does a depressed girl do when she needs to get a lot of work done?

She takes Sadderall.

Where do pigs park their cars?

In porking lots.

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What do skeletons order at restaurants?

Spare ribs.

What's a skeleton's favorite dish?

Spare ribs

Puerto Rican Jokes More Puerto Rican Jokes

What did the Puerto Rican dish say when he lost his Android?

Where'd mofongo?

Why is there so little Puerto Rican literature?

Because the spray paint can wasn't invented until 1949.