Dish Jokes

Where did L Ron Hubbard store his dishes?

In the L Ron cupboard.

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What did the Middle Eastern dishwasher say when his boss asked him what he did all day at work?

Iraq the dishes in the dish rack and Iran the dishwasher

Who's there? Dishes. Dishes who?

Dishes Sean Connery.

What do you call a man doing dishes?

Single.

What do you get when you mix an octopus and a Mexican?

I don't know, but it sure can wash a lot of dishes.

What's the first thing a woman does after leaving spousal abuse therapy?

The dishes, if she knows what's good for her!

What's a dish best served cold?

Air condish.

What do you get when you mix a Mexican and an octopus?

I don't know, but it sure can wash a lot of dishes.

What's the best part about buying dishes that are made in Mexico?

They wash themselves.

How does the redneck help his wife with the dishes?

He gets her Dawn.

What do you suppose Ray Rice's fiance' did when he got her home from knocking her out?

The dishes if she knows what's good for her!

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How can you tell if your wife left you?

You get laid the same amount of times but the dishes start to pile up. Hey now!

What do you call a "to-go" dish ordered from German-Italian restaurant?

Alfredosehen

What is the first thing a woman should do when she gets out of the Battered Women's Shelter?

The dishes, if she knows what's good for her.

What was the rock band doing at the kitchen sink?

Moshing the dishes

How many honest intelligent caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?

Both of them.

Why is revenge a dish best served cold?

Because it's just-ice

Why do petri dishes make good conversationalists?

They're cultured.

What kind of dish does LeBron like?

anything with curry in it.

Where did the drug addict keep his food and dishes?

The potry

What's a terrible plate pun?

dish one.

Why did Helen Keller stop cleaning her dishes?

She was running out of things to read.

Whats the first thing a woman does when she gets to the battered shelter?

The dishes if she knows whats good for her.

Why is revenge a dish best served with honey?

Because honey is what you find at the end of bee trails (betrayals)

What do you need to have to do the dishes when you don't want to?

Dishcipline This is literally a joke I told in a dream and I remembered it when waking up.

What side dish do frogs like to enjoy with their hamburgers?

French Flies!

Why did God invent women?

You think he's gonna wash the dishes

How Does Sean Connery Wash His Dishes?

Like a Bosch!

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What do skeletons order at restaurants?

Spare ribs.

What did the skeleton order at the restaurant?

Spare ribs.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What hurts more giving birth or being kicked in the balls?

A women will normally want more children after a year or two. No man has ever wanted another kick in the balls. Case closed.

How did the woman feel when she got run over by a car?

Tired.

Life Jokes More Life Jokes

Why is Kylo Ren so lonely all the time?

He's Ben Solo his whole life

What's a life without manitees?

A life with out porpoise.

Jared Jokes More Jared Jokes

What's the difference between Jared from Subway's gut and his junk?

He prefers his gut when it's down 45 pounds, and his junk when it's up 45 pounds.

Why does little sally have a limp?

SHE WENT TO JARED!

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How many kidnapped children does it take to change a lightbulb?

The parents would love to know.

How do you know that a dinosaur ate Kel for breakfast?

Because there was a kellogg in the toilet

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What would happen if Leafy went to The Filthy Frank show?

Chin-chin would leave.

Why did the old man get kicked off the nudist colony's golf course?

He kept leaving ball marks on the greens.

Middle Eastern Jokes More Middle Eastern Jokes

What kind of soap do Middle Eastern citizens use?

Arab spring

What did the Middle Eastern dictator say after he had lunch?

I ate so many chickpeas, now I falafel.

Mix Jokes More Mix Jokes

What do you get when you mix a mouse with some laundry detergent?

Squeaky clean clothes.

What happens when you mix a snowman and a vampire?

Frostbite