What u doing?

Math, it's due Friday" *I slowly crumple the paper and put it in my mouth* They'll never believe u

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Paper Jokes More Paper Jokes

What kind of root is only easy to find on paper?

A square one.*

What's the difference between an immigrant &amp a book?

One of them has papers.

Mouth Jokes More Mouth Jokes

How can you tell when Mitt Romney is lying?

His mouth is moving.

How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow?

A: Down in the mouth!

Believe Jokes More Believe Jokes

Why did no one believe the Psychologist ever went to the bathroom?

Because the 'P' is silent

Why can't Atheist solve exponential equations?

Because they don't believe in higher powers

Friday Jokes More Friday Jokes

Why do they call the day after Thanksgiving "Black Friday"?

Because everything is a steal.

How is today Monday?

It was Friday only a few hours ago...

Math Jokes More Math Jokes

What do you call an intense love of math?

Calculust.

How does a mathematician swear?

Math-you.

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

What did u do last night?

Me: I drowned my swallows in whiskey Don't u mean sorrows Me covering tub of dead birds: is that the saying

What's the best thing about dating a homeless woman?

When ur done, u can drop her off anywhere.

Crumple Jokes More Crumple Jokes

What should we call this portable computer?

SOME GUY: Laptop everyone applauds...w/ tears in my eyes i crumple a paper that says Kneeputer

What's your opener?

JESUS: "God loves you." You BUDDHA (crumpling paper that says Life Is Suffering): Me too