What's your opener?

JESUS: "God loves you." You BUDDHA (crumpling paper that says Life Is Suffering): Me too

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Life Jokes More Life Jokes

Who's to say tomorrow won't be the best day of your life?

A statistician.

Why will the ghost never succeed in life?

He's too eeriesponsible!!!!

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What are your plans for Easter?

Husband: Same as Jesus.. Wife: What do you mean Husband:I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!!

Why doesn't Jesus buy beer?

Hebrews.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

How does a blonde turn on the light after making love?

Opens the car door.

Why did the man with an electric car think he had a dual exhaust?

He drank a lot of beer. He ate a lot of beans. *You love it.*

Paper Jokes More Paper Jokes

What's the difference between a book and a Mexican?

A book has papers.

What kind of root is only easy to find on paper?

A square one.*

Suffer Jokes More Suffer Jokes

Why are people who suffers from insomnia so excited at the moment?

They only have to sleep 3 more times until Christmas

What happened to the performer who read poetry to terminally ill patients?

He suffered an elegiac reaction.

God Jokes More God Jokes

What is it with people who text and drive?

I swear to god the next time I see this happen, I'll roll down my window and throw my beer at them.

What did God say to the cheese that sinned?

Gouda Hell.

Buddha Jokes More Buddha Jokes

What did Buddha say to the Pizza guy?

Make me one with everything."

What did the cremated Buddha who was placed in a cardboard box say?

I'm in light urn.'

Opener Jokes More Opener Jokes

What's your opener?

JESUS: "God loves you." You BUDDHA (crumpling paper that says Life Is Suffering): Me too

What weapon is most feared by knights?

A can opener.

Crumple Jokes More Crumple Jokes

What should we call this portable computer?

SOME GUY: Laptop everyone applauds...w/ tears in my eyes i crumple a paper that says Kneeputer

What's your opener?

JESUS: "God loves you." You BUDDHA (crumpling paper that says Life Is Suffering): Me too