Friday Jokes

Why is Friday the best day of the week?

Its the 5/7 day of the week

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Where do graphic designers go for a drink?

CGI Friday's

What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonald's on Friday night in Iowa?

Prom

Where do Muslims go after their Friday prayer?

To the Allahu Akbar

What is the only thing on earth that goes "ha ha" on a Monday?

A bit late, but.... A blonde who heard a joke on Friday.

Where do Crows hang out on friday night?

The crow bar.

Where do Crows hang out on a friday nght?

At a crow bar.

What do brunettes and red-heads do on Friday nights?

Make blonde jokes!

What happened when the cannibal got a religion?

He only ate Catholics on Fridays!

How does an international banker have a good Friday night?

He goes to a bar and slips somebody a Rupee, then gives them a Franc and some Deutsche Marks.

Why does the letter "r" make all the difference between Friday and Sunday?

payday vs prayday.

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What happened when the two lovers were watching a scary movie in a year when Valentine's day happened to fall on Friday the 13th?

Oh wait, nevermind. I'm an idiot...*

How is today Monday?

It was Friday only a few hours ago...

What do you get when you cross Jesus and a couple of criminals?

A good Friday

What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonald's on Friday night in Wisconsin?

Prom night.

Where do Pixar employees go for Happy Hour?

CGI Friday's.

Why are there so many dumb blonde jokes?

it gives brunnettes and redheads something to do on friday and saturday nights!

What was Jesus never thankful for?

Fridays.

What day do fries hate the most?

Friday

What u doing?

Math, it's due Friday" *I slowly crumple the paper and put it in my mouth* They'll never believe u

How'd he do it?

The horses name was Friday.

Why do they call the day after Thanksgiving "Black Friday"?

Because everything is a steal.

What you gonna do on St. Valentine's day?

What day is it " "Friday." "Shepherd's Pie."

How did Jesus get across Jerusalem on a busy Friday afternoon?

Cross traffic doesn't stop.

Why are you all so excited it's Friday?

Monday will be here in 5 minutes.

What do bored frogs do on a Friday night?

They go Bar Hopping!...

Which day do chickens hate the most?

Friday.

What song can never be played on #throwback Thursday?

Friday by Rebecca Black

What do you call the day after a sad Friday?

A sadder day.

Where were you on Friday?

Me: It was a holiday. Boss: HALLOWEEN IS NOT A PAID HOLIDAY! Me: It is if you go as Christmas. Boss:...

What's the worst thing about Fridays?

Realizing it's only Tuesday.

Where do cows go on Friday nights?

A: To the moovies.

What do you get if you have strep throat on Friday?

Saturday Night Fever.

What are your plans for Easter?

Husband: Same as Jesus.. Wife: What do you mean Husband:I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!!

What did Justin Verlander finish on Friday?

Kate's back.

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What do you say to Simba when he's slow?

Mufasa! "move faster" heu heu heu

Why did Simba buy a motorcycle?

So he could mufasa.

Park Jokes More Park Jokes

Why should you not let your kids go to Korean Discos?

Because you don't want them hanging around Parks at night.

What do you do when you see a space man?

Park your car, man.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Why is it so difficult for people with breast cancer to remember things?

They have bad mammaries.

What's the first thing you do when attacked by a gang of clowns?

Go straight for the juggler.

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

Why did the L.A. riots last only 4 days?

Everyone knows black people can't work a full week.

How do you know when you're turning 40?

When your candy jar is filled with Tums..... My wife just came up with that one... Birthday is next week.. Ugh

Muslim Jokes More Muslim Jokes

What happened to the muslim critic?

He blew everything out of proportion!

What do you call a rich muslim god?

Ballah

Crow Jokes More Crow Jokes

Whats the funniest type of bird?

Crows! they're the undisputed kings of CAW-Medy

What do you call three crows?

A crowd.

Destroy Jokes More Destroy Jokes

Why do Japanese people look so serious in pictures?

Last time they saw a flash it destroyed their country

What will the ISIS be called when we eventually destroy them?

WASWAS.

Allahu Jokes More Allahu Jokes

What kind of buildings do terrorists have on their farms?

Allahu akbarns (I'm going to hell)

What's the most popular pub in the Middle East?

The Allahu ak-Bar