What was Santa's christmas-present for the kid with no hands?

new gloves for the cold days

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Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What does santa do with a lazy reindeer?

Sleighs 'em

What does Santa call his wife at tax time?

A: A dependent Claus.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What's the appropriate age to take the electric shock collar off your kid?

My son's 10 years... hold on... OFF THE COUCH! brb... convulsing.

Which kid is mine?

I like to reply "I haven't decided yet."

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why did Night fall?

Because Day tripped him.

What is the hottest time of day?

2:flirty

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What's the best part about being a meth addict?

3 sleeps 'til Christmas

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?

The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.

Why do bald men cut holes in there pockets?

To run their hands through their hair

Cold Day Jokes More Cold Day Jokes

Why was everyone shivering at the inauguration?

Because it's a cold day in hell....

What animal would you most like to be on a cold day?

A little otter