What was the internet like in the old days?

Me: *opens door* *pushes 16 outside* *locks door*

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Door Jokes More Door Jokes

Why does Jesus always leave a door open for you?

Because he was born in a barn.

Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?

He wanted to win the No Bell Prize.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

How many vampires does it take to open the Curtain on Daylight?

Just one with depression.

Why did the ants dance on the jam jar?

A: The lid said, "Twist to open."

Push Jokes More Push Jokes

What does a push up bra and a dictatorship have in common?

They both oppress those on the inside. They both lie to those on the outside. And they both raise monuments to the fallen.

Why is flatulence more satisfying after a long struggle to push it out?

Because you know you made a real ef-**fart**

Internet Jokes More Internet Jokes

What's The Coolest Thing On the Internet I Can Buy for Under $100?

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/wyozq/whatisthecoolestthingicanbuyonthe/c5hp9rg

What did the man who frequents the internet do with a book?

He Reddit.

16 Jokes More 16 Jokes

How are the Seahawks and my girlfriend similar?

they both can get 16 shoved down their throat without choking

Which 3 words will make a mexican tremble in fear ?

Round of 16

Lock Jokes More Lock Jokes

What do locking the keys in your car and getting your girlfriend pregnant have in common?

both can be solved with a coat hanger

What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car, outside of a planned parenthood center?

Having to go inside and ask for a coat-hanger.