When I bring you breakfast in bed, why can't you just say "thank you"?

instead of all this "how did you get in to my house " calling 9-11 business.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

When does a bed grow longer?

A: At night, because two feet are added to it.

What did the pastor say when his blanket rose up from his bed?

Holy Sheet!"

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What is a baby's favorite Fall Out Boy song?

Thanks For The Mammaries

What did the man say to his big breasted ex-wife?

Thanks for the mammaries.

House Jokes More House Jokes

What kind of house does a stoned loaf of bread live in?

A high rise

How many babies does it take to paint a house?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

What's you experience with "Friends with benefits"?

The close thing I came to having friends with benefits was .......... convincing my friend to bring food for me daily.

What about the two old ladies who brought a bottle of whiskey to the baseball game?

At the bottom of the fifth the bags were loaded.

9 Jokes More 9 Jokes

Why was Mel Gibson in a bar at 9am?

He overslept.

What kind of insects to secret agents like?

as told by my 9 yr old) Spiders.

Breakfast Jokes More Breakfast Jokes

What did King Arthur have for breakfast?

Eggcalibur.

What did the yogi have for breakfast?

an lette