How many babies does it take to paint a house?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

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House Jokes More House Jokes

What did the doctor say to the parents of an ugly baby?

I charge five dollars if its a boy and five dollars if its a girl. Lets just say this ones on the house.

What does a musician use to build a house?

A tuba-four

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

How many 210 lb policemen does it take to throw a 140 lb suspect down 3 flights of stairs?

None, he fell.

Why did the old man throw the matress out the window?

Dementia

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

How do babies get out of bellies?

ME: "Look! Ice cream!" *5 min later* 3YO COVERED IN ICE CREAM: "How do babies get out of be---"

What's the difference between the IRS and a baby?

It takes a lot more than a hammer to make the IRS shut up.

Paint Jokes More Paint Jokes

What's red and smells like paint?

Red paint

How do you conufuse a blond?

Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

Depend Jokes More Depend Jokes

What's an old woman taste like?

Depends ...

What does it taste like to go down on a little old lady?

Depends