When is an English teacher like a judge?

When she hands out long sentences.

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How do you silence an Italian?

Cut off his hands

What would Santa Claus be called if he had no hands?

Canta Plaus.

Judge Jokes More Judge Jokes

What did one Muslim say to another in a supermarket?

Nothing very interesting, they are both completely ordinary members of society who should not be judged based on their ethnic background and skin colour... ...And then the building exploded.

What an evolved soul?

How'd he know Me: The judge told him.

English Jokes More English Jokes

What's the difference between a German and a Scot?

The German knows when he's not speaking English.

What do the English use to blow up their enemies?

Tea N' Tea.

English Teacher Jokes More English Teacher Jokes

What do you call an English teacher five feet tall covered from head to toe in boils and totally bald?

Sir!

Who, what, when, where and why?

English teachers and Alzheimer's patients

Long Sentence Jokes More Long Sentence Jokes

What is the longest sentence in the English language?

I do."

What is the longest sentence that a man can make?

I do.