How is a judge like an English teacher?

They both hand out long sentences.

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How long did you spend on your cosplay?

Me: Seven months A: *Hands me a badge marked "Casual"*

What mistake did the chronometer make while it was getting along well with the digital watch?

It asked the digital watch for its hand in marriage.

Judge Jokes More Judge Jokes

What is your relationship with the plaintiff?

A: She is my daughter. Judge: Was she your daughter on February 13 1979

Why do liberal courts don't work?

Because they don't like to judge anyone.

English Jokes More English Jokes

Which word is the longest in the English language?

Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters

Why did the English major break up with the pilot?

Because the pilot kept ending sentences with a preposition, over.

English Teacher Jokes More English Teacher Jokes

Who, what, when, where and why?

English teachers and Alzheimer's patients

How is a judge like an English teacher?

They both hand out long sentences.

Long Sentence Jokes More Long Sentence Jokes

What's the worlds longest sentence?

I do.

What is the longest sentence in the English language?

I do."