Where are you going?

Me: Out. I can't stand being hemmed in by four walls. Wife: How many walls has the pub got Five

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy?

Oh no not snake and pygmy pie again!

What was the last thing Robin Williams said to his wife?

You go on to bed, I'm just going to hang here a while.

Wall Jokes More Wall Jokes

What do you call balls on the wall?

Walnuts. What do you call balls on a chest Chestnuts. What do you call balls on a chin My throne

What did the fish say when it hit the wall?

Dam.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What kind of cancer always stands by the government?

Pro-state cancer.

Why was the monster standing on his head?

He was turning things over in his mind.

Hem Jokes More Hem Jokes

What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!

Where are you going?

Me: Out. I can't stand being hemmed in by four walls. Wife: How many walls has the pub got Five

Pub Jokes More Pub Jokes

Why would Bart Simpson never go to a pub?

Because there's a BartEnder there.

What do you call Irish sunscreen?

A pub.