Where're you going?

Me: To dinner with my friends! Mom: Your friends Me: I'm going to use McDonalds' free Wifi to get on twitter...

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What kind of a battery does Dj Khaled use?

A Li-ion battery.

How do you speak to a deaf Ted Cruz?

Use zodiac signs

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What do you call it when a bunch of deer have an intervention for one of their friends?

Change for a buck.

Which is the smallest profession? A mini cab driver or a micro biologist?

Neither. I have a friend who works in computers.

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

Why did voldermort used Twitter instead of Facebook?

Because he only had followers. Not friends.

What's the rule for Twitter crushes?

So far I'm in love with 800 women, 2 dudes, and a llama. Send condoms.

Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

What does an Irishman have for dinner?

A: Starvation. Q: And what does he have for dessert A: Ethnic cleansing.

What does a black and white bear use to cook it's dinner?

A pan, duh!

Mcdonald Jokes More Mcdonald Jokes

Why doesnt McDonalds serve snail?

Because of sanitation reasons.

What does a bee get at McDonalds ?

A humburger !

Wi Fi Jokes More Wi Fi Jokes

What do you call wifi in space?

Mars Bars

Why is there no life on Mars?

No WiFi...