Who is it?

Police: Police. Me:What do u want Police: To talk. Me: How many r u Police: 2 Me: Talk to each other.

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What's the hurry?

Me: Nothing officer - Just didn't want to slow you down. Cop: I was pulling you over. Me: Well I get that. Now.

Why did the chicken cross the "net" ?

It wanted to get to the other site !

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Who's coca colas favourite rapper?

2-pop

Why is 2 dimensional soda not popular?

Because it's always flat.

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What does a monster mom say to her kids at dinnertime?

Don't talk with someone in your mouth.

What's this ticket, officer?

Loitering "I didn't drop trash" - No. Loitering. "You talk funny" - It's not- "I'm putting this on Twoiter"

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Why is it expensive to be a criminal?

Because the police charge you.

What did the chinese guy tell the police when he was caught?

You got the Wong guy.

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How many women have u slept with?

Husband: Only you, Honey. With everyone else, I was awake.

What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your TV starts to float?

You turn on the lights and shoot the black guy stealing it.