What do you do when your wife is blocking view of the TV?

Go to the kitchen and shorten her chain.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What are these?

Me: The synonym rolls you asked for. Wife: CINNAMON.

What did the rabbi say after he was diagnosed with an aggressive and inoperable form of brain cancer, and his wife and child died in a car crash while driving to the hospital?

Oy vey!"

Tv Jokes More Tv Jokes

How do you know if your friend, "Doesn't even OWN a TV?

Because it's this answer to every question you ask them. "Did you hear about the President's new policy on... " "I don't even OWN a TV!"

What do you say when you see your TV floating at night?

Put it down, Tyrone!"

Block Jokes More Block Jokes

What do you call a fanny on a fanny on a fanny?

A block of flaps

Why did the snowman have a smile on his face?

Because the snowblower was coming down the block.

Kitchen Jokes More Kitchen Jokes

Why did the midget go swimming in the kitchen?

There were microwaves. Sorry I was drunk making popcorn.

How many black guys does it take to cook chicken?

None. Blacks belong in the fields, woman belong in the kitchen.

Chain Jokes More Chain Jokes

What do you call a chain of singing islands?

An acapellago.

Why do black people wear chains?

Nostalgia

View Jokes More View Jokes

What do you call a body in a morgue which hasn't been viewed by anyone yet?

Remains to be seen.

What do you call an affectionate island?

Isle of view

Shorten Jokes More Shorten Jokes

What's the United States favorite brand of shortening?

San Fran Crisco

What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!