Why can't melons have shotgun weddings?

They cantaloupe

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Melon Jokes More Melon Jokes

What are Kierkegaard's two favourite fruits?

Melon and Broccoli!

Why couldn't the melons secretly get married?

Because they were cant elopes

Cantaloupe Jokes More Cantaloupe Jokes

Why did the melon plan a big elaborate wedding?

Because he cantaloupe.

Why did the melons plan a big wedding?

Because they cantaloupe!

Shotgun Jokes More Shotgun Jokes

What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

What do you call a rifle that has been fired recently?

A shotgun

Wedding Jokes More Wedding Jokes

Why did the fruits take out a $30,000 loan for their wedding?

Because they cantaloupe.

Why didn't the cellphone attend the wedding?

He heard the reception was going to be terrible...