Why can't melons have shotgun weddings?

They cantaloupe

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Melon Jokes More Melon Jokes

Why couldn't the melons be together?

Everyone knows melons cantaloupe.

Why did the melon leave her boyfriend?

He said he can't elope.

Cantaloupe Jokes More Cantaloupe Jokes

What do you call a pessimistic melon?

A cantaloupe

Where did the cantaloupe go for summer vacation?

John Cougar Mellencamp

Shotgun Jokes More Shotgun Jokes

What does a blonde and a shotgun have in common?

You break them at the middle and load them from behind

What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

Wedding Jokes More Wedding Jokes

Why didn't the cellphone attend the wedding?

He heard the reception was going to be terrible...

Why did the fruits take out a $30,000 loan for their wedding?

Because they cantaloupe.