Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

Because the captain was standing on the deck! Aargh

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Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What do you call two old black men standing in a shed?

Antique machinery

When you are driving though the field in Texas, you see a lot of cattle. They are very special. Wanna know why?

They are out standing in the field

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Whats a mile long and has a thousand arms?

The train to Auschwitz. Some German guy i used to play Path of Exile with told it to me.

Why can't Bach play the piano?

He "Baroque" his arm, and also he's dead.

Deck Jokes More Deck Jokes

What does marriage have in common with a deck of cards?

In the beginning, you only need two hearts and a diamond. Later on, a club and a spade.

Why cant you play cards on a rowboat?

Because you're sitting on the deck...

Card Jokes More Card Jokes

What if I'm always just inexplicably shuffling a deck of cards?

Would you buy that Like "whoa, who's that drifter !"

Whats the worst animal to play cards with?

A Cheetah.

Captain Jokes More Captain Jokes

How does the captain know the aircraft is safely at the ramp?

Both the engines and the co-pilot stop whining.

When fish play football who is the captain ?

The team's kipper !