Why did the cab driver did not get time for his family?

Because he was Uber busy.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why should the Pope play NBA basketball?

Because every time he puts up a prayer it gets answered. (I thought of this myself, but it is so corny, it could easily be in every damn joke book.)

What do you call an Asian who's tolerable some of the time?

Occasionally (OK Asian Lee).

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

Why was the animal unhappy?

He had a ruff week.. His life wasn't purrfect. His brother was a shellout. His mother's been a real crab lately. His family was really shellfish. He had no porpoise in life.

What do you call a British midget mother who can barely support her family?

Mini-Mum

Uber Jokes More Uber Jokes

What do laws and virgins have in common?

They're both there to be violated. (The sad part is that a Portuguese Taxi Driver actually said that seriously in a protest against Uber)

What do Intel, Google, Uber, eBay, McDonalds, Budweiser, AT&T, Oracle, Disney, Boeing, IBM and Apple have in common?

Immigrants

Cab Driver Jokes More Cab Driver Jokes

Why did the cab driver get a divorce?

Because he had a fare.

Why was the cab driver contemplating his life?

Because he had nothing to chauffeur.