Why did the dog go to the doctor after a tomato fell on his head?

The tomato was in a can.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What do you get when you cross a philosopher, an insomniac and a dyslexic?

A guy who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog. Infinite Jest, by DFW

what do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?

a labracadabrador

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Which way will it fall?

If a rooster lays an egg on a pointed roof, which way will it land Roosters don't lay eggs

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What does 007 wear on his head?

A Bondana.

What didn't the Japanese understand nuclear missile technology?

It was a little over their heads

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

How much time do I have left, doctor?

Doctor: 10 Guy: 10 what ! 10 days, 10 months, 10 years Doctor: 9...8...7...6...5...

What did the doctor give the Asari with an STD?

Anti-biotics

Tomato Jokes More Tomato Jokes

What's red and goes up and down?

A tomato in an elevator.

What's red, round and goes up and down, up and down?

A tomato in an elevator