Tomato Jokes

What happens when you run away from tomatos?

They ketchup.

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What do you get when you put a tomato in your mothers shoe?

A spanking

What is like tomato but better?

DD-WRT

What's red, round and goes up and down, up and down?

A tomato in an elevator

What's red and goes up and down?

A tomato in an elevator.

What did the Bacon say to the Tomato?

What did Bacon say to Tomato? "Lettuce get together"

What did the tomato say to the cheese in court?

I rest my queso.

Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What did the tomato say to the peach?

Nice pits."

What did the tomato say to the mushroom?

You're a fun guy"

What did the doctor say When a fruit walked into his office that was feeling like a vegetable?

what's tomato with you !

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How can you tell a dog from a tomato?

The tomato is red.

What's small red and goes up and down?

A tomato in an elevator.

What's red and moves up and down?

A tomato in an elevator :)

Why did the dog go to the doctor after a tomato fell on his head?

The tomato was in a can.

What did one tomato say to the other?

A: Catch up.

Why did the tomato turned red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

What does a tomato and a potato have in common?

Both are red,except from the potato.

What did Bacon say to Tomato?

Lettuce get together!

What did the tomato say to the ear of corn?

Nothing, as tomatoes lack any ability to communicate.

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What do you need to make a crystal salad?

Onions, tomatoes, and a whole bunch of lattice

What's red and invisible at the same time?

No tomatoes.

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How do German bread greet each other?

Gluten tag!

What do you call a silly, apathetic German boy?

Agoofaloofagus

Lack Jokes More Lack Jokes

Why did Shrodinger's girlfriend dump him?

Because she didn't like his lack of commitment

Why does Skeleton Soup taste so poor?

It lacks body

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What do you call two black guys walking down the street?

Nothing. Are you racist or something?

Why did Jesus have to walk everywhere?

He drove a Ford.

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What's the definition of the perfect woman?

Four feet tall, fold back teeth, flat head so you can rest your beer on it, and turns into a pizza at midnight.

Why was the baby put in jail?

For resisting a rest. I'll take my coat

Elevator Jokes More Elevator Jokes

What has six legs and goes "Hodeedo, hodeedo?

Three black guys about to miss the elevator

What do you call an elevator full of white people?

A box of crackers.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

Why did the man with no hands go to the doctor?

Because he didn't feel well.

Why did the doctor make an old woman cry?

He lost his patients

Cheese Jokes More Cheese Jokes

What do you call a goat that likes cheese with their pasta?

Maaaac

What kind of cheese gives out money?

Prova I just came up with that and feel pretty proud (: