Why did the guitarist keep his condoms in his guitar case?

He only needed them after he'd opened it.

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Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why did the pirate update his Macbook?

His matey told him he needed an iPatch

How many bricks do you need to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, but you're going to need a lot of patience and light bulbs.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

How's your narcissism?

Much better I thin...*sees my ex walking by* opens window HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE I BROKE UP WITH YOU!"

What is printed on the bottom of a bottle in Michigan?

Found on /r/linux) A: Open the other end

Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

When I walked to the register with the condoms the clerk asked "Would you like a bag?

I replied "No, she's not that ugly"

How does the stork bring babies?

It pokes holes in condoms.

Guitarist Jokes More Guitarist Jokes

What is better than a rose on a guitarist?

Tulips on my pianist.

Why do guitarists put drumsticks on the dash of their car?

So they can park in the handicapped spot.