When I walked to the register with the condoms the clerk asked "Would you like a bag?

I replied "No, she's not that ugly"

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Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag ?

They can lighten your load !

How many raisins do I have to add to this bag of M&Ms before it qualifies as trail mix?

One I say one.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What did Patrick Stewart say when he was given a tortoise for his birthday?

Please, take it back. I don't like getting attached to animals. Especially when they only live 100 years.

What do you call an aligator that likes to wear vests when no one else is around?

A private investigator.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

Why did the black man walk backwards?

I have no idea, Your Honor, but he was coming right at me and I felt my life was at risk.

How many roads must a man walk?

42

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How do you make a buff guy talk to you for hours?

ask about his routine.

What does Batman ask when he enters a butcher shop?

Gotham?

Register Jokes More Register Jokes

Why do people hesitate before registering as an organ donor?

It takes guts.

Why was Six afraid of Seven?

Because Seven was a registered six offender.

Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

Why do Canadians wear tuques?

Because condoms are too brittle at minus 20.

How does Justin Beiber remove a condom?

He farts.

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

What are you taking for it?

Man replies "Pollen"

What did you find most attractive concerning Monica Lewinsky?

He replied, 'She had the prettiest smile I ever came across."

Clerk Jokes More Clerk Jokes

How long does it take to fly to Boston?

The clerk said "Just a minute..." "Thank you" the man said and hung up.

What did the clerk say to the customer who tried to buy a candy bar with plastic quarters?

This is non-cents!