Guitarist Jokes

Why did the guitarist get life in prison?

He fingered a minor.

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What's the difference between a guitarist and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of four

Why didn't the guitarist get laid?

Because he had bad pickups

What do you call a relationship that never works out between guitarists?

No strings attached

What is better than a rose on a guitarist?

Tulips on my pianist.

What do you call a guitarist without a girlfriend?

Homeless.

Why did the guitarist keep his condoms in his guitar case?

He only needed them after he'd opened it.

What does a guitarist say when he gets to his gig?

Would you like fries with that?"

What's the fastest way to make money as a guitarist?

By selling your guitar.

Why did the guitarist leave his guitar on the ground?

It didn't have any pickups

Why do guitarists put drumsticks on the dash of their car?

So they can park in the handicapped spot.

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What's black and blue and laying in a ditch?

A: A guitarist who'd told too many drummer jokes.

How do you know a guitarist is sad?

They start to fret.

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Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

What do you call it when a soldier gets laid?

Tactical Insertion.* What do you call it when a COD player gets laid *Lies.*

How can you tell a mechanic got laid?

He has one clean finger

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why did the punster enjoy the Broadway show about etymology?

Because it was a play on words.

What do you call a cow that plays with itself?

Beef Stroganoff

Finger Jokes More Finger Jokes

What's the difference between your finger and a hammer?

I don't know! Well you're not using my computer keyboard then!

Why did the dentist divorce the manicurist?

She tried to stick her finger in his cavity.

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

What did the purple policeman say as he threw the purple man into jail?

INDIGO!

What the hell is this?

Turkey bacon. *throws tray against wall* I'm hungry! Not desperate!

Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

When do Catholics allow the use of condoms?

When the choir boys have diarrhea.

What is a condom with a hole?

Kinder Surprise

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

How many Arabs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

1.. 2.. 3.. BOOM

What does that clock say at 1 o'clock night?

1 AM feeling very sleepy.

Tulip Jokes More Tulip Jokes

What's the only thing better than Roses on a Piano?

Answer: Tulips on an Organ.

What is the name of the flower you find between your nose and your chin?

A: Tulips.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why is PBS asking me for money?

If I had money I wouldn't need to pretend crow migration habits are good entertainment.

How many skunks do you need to make a house really smelly?

Just a phew!