Why did the sick bird get deported?

He was an ill eagle.

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How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to pay a Mexican to do it, two to deport him afterwards.

Why did the sick eagle get deported?

Because he was an illeagle.

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What do you call a sick bird?

An illegal.

What's the difference between unlawful and illegal?

One's against the law, and the other's a sick bird.

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What kind of sick bird is against the law?

an ill eagle

Why is it a bad idea to hunt the US national bird?

It's ill-eagle