Why do men die before their wives?

Because we want to!

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Who are all these people Twitter wants me to follow?

Has the fail whale been stalking me. Help, stranger danger!

Why did Marie from Everybody Loves Raymond never get a divorce?

She didn't want an ex Ray Edit: I meant debra

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did Dr Dre say to his wife during Netflix and chill?

Hope you're ready for the next episode

What does the husband say to his wife whose nose is bleeding?

Nothing, he already said it twice.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What does a man with two left feet wear to the beach?

Flip-Flips.

What did the physicist say to the man about to jump off a building?

Don't do it! You have so much potential!"

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

How do you die by heroin?

When you are the villain

Why are Lawyers buried forty feet deep when they die?

Because deep down they're really nice people.