Why were the 5 gorgeous young blonde Danish fashion models sobbing their eyes out?

I told them I wasn't going to give birth to them.

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell when Mitt Romney is lying?

His mouth is moving.

Why didn't Toronto's mayor tell us earlier about his drug use?

It must have fallen through a crack.

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Why didn't the mother splinter call her son on his birth-day?

Because he's a little prick!

How are you supposed to buy a gift for your mom as an adult?

It's like, oh you gave birth to me Please enjoy this fancy candle.

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Because "6, 7 ate".

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ME: "Look! Ice cream!" *5 min later* 3YO COVERED IN ICE CREAM: "How do babies get out of be---"

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What do you call a pig with three eyes?

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Danish Jokes More Danish Jokes

What did the pastry from Denmark say to the pastry from Norway?

Hey, I'm Danish. JK they're pastries, they can't talk.

Why were the 5 gorgeous young blonde Danish fashion models sobbing their eyes out?

I told them I wasn't going to give birth to them.

Sob Jokes More Sob Jokes

What kind of ship never sinks?

A dictatorship. *sobs*

Who will I share the sunset with now?

sobs* Friend: Bad breakup Me: No. *wipes tears* My Instagram isn't working.