Who will I share the sunset with now?

sobs* Friend: Bad breakup Me: No. *wipes tears* My Instagram isn't working.

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Tear Jokes More Tear Jokes

What do you call a ghost in a torn sheet?

A holy terror.

What's the best part about showering with a 5 year-old?

The water washes away her tears

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Whats Black and never works?

Decaffeinated coffee, ya racist.

Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet?

Because they can't stop saving their work.

Share Jokes More Share Jokes

What do you call a dinosaur made of plastic bricks?

A legosaurus! Randomly made up this the other night, thought I'd share.

What's the difference between the east-german and the west-german accent?

While the former is shared by most, the latter is richer.

Wipe Jokes More Wipe Jokes

Which hand did Henry VIII use to wipe his bottom with?

Anne Boleyn's.

What's it called when you're using Tinder on the toilet?

Swiping and wiping.

Instagram Jokes More Instagram Jokes

Where do chicken strips find love?

Chicken tinder Thank you, to Popeye's Louisiana Kitchen's official Instagram for this gem

What would you like to Instagram?

how waiters should greet people

Sunset Jokes More Sunset Jokes

What do you call twin brothers?

A sunset!

What's a zombie's favorite pop song?

Dead sails in the sunset.

Sob Jokes More Sob Jokes

What kind of ship never sinks?

A dictatorship. *sobs*

Why were the 5 gorgeous young blonde Danish fashion models sobbing their eyes out?

I told them I wasn't going to give birth to them.