Bernie Madoff Jokes

What did Bernie Madoff say to Bernie Sanders?

I'll take your money!

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What is the similarities between Bernie Madoff and Atoms?

They both make up everything!

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Money Jokes More Money Jokes

Why does Cuba not have any casinos?

They Havana no money to spend.

Why do gangsters save so much money on clothes?

Cause all their pants are half-off

Similarity Jokes More Similarity Jokes

What's a similarity between obese people, and my relationships with women?

They don't work out.

What's the similarity between Divorce and tornados in the Midwest?

Someone's losing their trailer

Bernie Sanders Jokes More Bernie Sanders Jokes

What would you call the easter egg roll if Bernie Sanders became president?

Weekend at Bernie's.

Why isn't Bernie Sanders campaigning in OKC?

They're both eliminated and finished second in their conference.

Atom Jokes More Atom Jokes

Why did the atom stick around?

Cuz if he split, the situation would have gotten blown out of proportion.

What did one atom say to the other?

I lost an electron..." The other atom asks "Are you sure " First atom replies, "I'm positive!"