Cupboard Jokes

Why did the old man sneak past the cupboard?

He didn't want to wake up the sleeping pills.

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What do you call two lesbians in a cupboard?

A liquor cabinet.

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food ?

Snakes and Larders !sna

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Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

How many "can't"s can a white girl "can't" before she literally can't even?

my brother asked me this when i woke up and it has been bugging me all day.

Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.

Sean Connery Jokes More Sean Connery Jokes

What beer does Sean Connery drink?

Grols

What did Sean Connery say when he noticed that there wasn't any electricity in the Pennsylvania countryside?

Shomething'sh Amish..."

Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag ?

They can lighten your load !

A grocery store cashier asked if I would like my milk in a bag.

I told her 'No, thanks. The carton works fine.'

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What word starts with N and ends with R and you never want to call a black guy?

Neighbor

Why was schrodinger's cat in trouble with the law?

I don't know, but he was wanted dead and alive.

Sneak Jokes More Sneak Jokes

How do you scare a man?

Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.

Why did the old man sneak past the cupboard?

He didn't want to wake up the sleeping pills.

Food Jokes More Food Jokes

Whole Foods ME: Hi CLERK: Hello ME: Do you...uh CLERK: Do we what?

ME: Do you have any...uh CLERK: Go on ME: Do you have any Half Foods

Where did the drug addict keep his food and dishes?

The potry

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a four-year old child?

Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out of a 49th-story window!

What's the difference between falling from the 1st and 10th floor?

Falling from the 1st floor: SPLAT! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Falling from the 10th floor: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! SPLAT!

Old Man Jokes More Old Man Jokes

What did the woman from Finland say after seeing an old man fall in the water, knowing he couldn't swim?

Oh no, Helsinki! He Finnish!"

Why did the old man throw the matress out the window?

Dementia