A grocery store cashier asked if I would like my milk in a bag.

I told her 'No, thanks. The carton works fine.'

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Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

Where should you take your cat, if it somehow loses its tail?

Walmart, they're the world's biggest retailer. Thank you. I'll be here all week.

What's the difference between the armed forces and Comcast?

Nobody ever says "Thank you for your service" to the latter.

Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

What's that in the bag?

An AK-47." "No next to that." "A bag of cheetos." "You can't bring that into the movie."

What about the two old ladies who brought a bottle of whiskey to the baseball game?

At the bottom of the fifth the bags were loaded.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What is long and likes to pry in a hole?

A key.

Why was the welder such a gossip?

Because he liked to meddle.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What song did the man who lived next door to a brothel sing on his way to work?

Hi ho, Hi ho, it's off to work I go!

What kind of work out do parrots have on leg day?

SQUAAATS! ...Polly want a cracker.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell the difference between a chemistry professor and a politician ?

Just ask them to read this word: unionized.

How about the No Bucket Challenge?

Basically you just give a charity some money and don't tell anyone about it.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How to tell the difference between a bad, a good and an excellent accountant ?

When you ask them "2+2 is ?":

When I was on the plane the stewardess asked, do you need some headphones?

I said, Hell Yeah, but how did you know my name was Phones

Milk Jokes More Milk Jokes

What do you get when you enter a cow into the Kentucky Derby?

Milk and Bookies.

What do you call a tired cow?

Milked out!

Carton Jokes More Carton Jokes

Why did the blonde keep a empty carton of milk in the fridge?

A: In case she wanted black coffee.

Why was the blond staring at a carton of orange juice?

Because it said concentrate.