Goldfish Jokes

What is the most expensive type of fish?

A goldfish! I am not sorry.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Coffee Mug

What's the difference between a goldfish and a mountain goat?

Goldfish like to muck around the fountain.

What do you call a fish that's worth a lot of money?

A goldfish!

How did one goldfish get the attention of another goldfish?

He yelled, "A u, fish!"

What's ur emergency?

Goldfish: I forgot Goldfish 911: Forgot what Goldfish: WHO IS THIS Goldfish 911: I DON'T KNOW

Why are rabbits never gold?

How would you tell them apart from goldfish

What's the difference between a goldfish and a goat?

One mucks around in fountains.

What fish is the most valuable?

A goldfish.

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Muck Jokes More Muck Jokes

What's the difference between a goldfish and a goat?

One mucks around in fountains.

What's the difference between a goldfish and a mountain goat?

Goldfish like to muck around the fountain.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

How does Han Solo like to get around Endor?

Ewoks

What do you like to do in your free time?

Guy: I spy on people. Girl: Really I like to take long walks in the park and go to the movies with my friends. Guy: I know.

Smell Jokes More Smell Jokes

When the cat's away.....?

The house smells better !

How do you know if your wine was made in the 90's?

It smells like teen spirit.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What's the definition of awful?

Putting a bomb on a disabled person's back and telling him to run.

What did the LGBT art teacher tell the kids to use when their projects needed glue ?

wait for it ... wait for it ...) brucilage !!!!!!!!

Little Girl Jokes More Little Girl Jokes

What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas?

Cancer. :(

Why didn't the little girl finish her lollipop?

She was hit by a bus

Emergency Jokes More Emergency Jokes

What's your emergency?

Boy: Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning.

When can you count on a hamburger in an emergency?

When the chips are down!

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

What attracted you to our company?

Well, I heard you pay money in exchange for work

Who leaves money under the pillows of children with LGBT parents ?

Surely you will have guessed - the brooth fairy.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do I know he was French, do you ask?

He went oui, oui.

How many posters who type 'r/antijokes' on this sub only do it for karma?

Seriously, I don't know. Maybe 50?