La Jokes

How can you tell when a Canadian is successful?

He dies in his LA home at 82.

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What do you call a feminist from LA?

A SoCal Justice Warrior.

How long does it take a monkey to fly a plane from LA to New York?

About 6 hours.

How many LA cops does it take to change light bulb?

Six. One to do it and five to smash the old bulb to splinters.

Who takes the best selfies in LA?

I need someone good to do mine.

What do you call a vampire in a raincoat ?

Mack-u-la !

What do you call a vampire that can lift up cars ?

Jack-u-la !

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Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

Why do people throw coins into foutains?

Why do people throw coins into fountains? I don't know, doesn't make any cents.

What did the libertarian shirt say when it was thrown into the washing machine?

AM I BEING DE-STAINED?!

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

How do you keep a baby from crawling in circles?

nail the other hand to the floor.

What did 6 say to 9?

Baby! Let's do a 69. Hahaha XD

82 Jokes More 82 Jokes

How can you tell when a Canadian is successful?

He dies in his LA home at 82.

Which number confuses people?

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

Why do you need a licence for a dog and not for a cat ?

Cats can't drive !

What dog rides a horse named Macaroni?

Yankee poodle!

Black Man Jokes More Black Man Jokes

What do you call a black man selling drugs?

A pharmacist, you racist.

What happened when the black man went to night school?

The teacher marked him absent.

Survive Jokes More Survive Jokes

Why is a room of 50 doctors safer than a room with 1000 doctors?

You can't survive in 1000 degrees. *credit to my friend Neriah.

What happens when an American has a heart attack and survives?

A 'murical.

Disease Jokes More Disease Jokes

Which disease do hobbits fear the most?

The Bilbonic plague.

What disease do horses fear most?

Hay Fever!

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of light makes the best US president?

A blinkin' light

What kind of animal can record video?

A cam-el. Get it, because a camera records things and a camel is a animal.