Lgbt Jokes

Which fruit can't get married?

A can't elope. Or better yet None of them because of the lgbt movement.

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Who leaves money under the pillows of children with LGBT parents ?

Surely you will have guessed - the brooth fairy.

What does an LGBT rabbi call a blessing?

a brucea

What does an LGBT orthodontist make most of his money off of ?

bruces

What will they now use on photos for LGBT magazines?

an airbroosh

Which 20th century President's wife looked like she could have been LGBT?

Eleanor Brucevelt.

What is the syndrome that endangers the dental well-being of over-anxious or stressed-out LGBT's?

brucism

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Guess Jokes More Guess Jokes

Where is everybody?

Everybody I don't know. All over the planet I guess.

How are we out already?

ME: *hiding dog that I wrapped up like a mummy* it's a mystery I guess

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

What did Jay Z call his girlfriend before they got married?

His Feyonce.

Why can't the two melons get married?

I don't know but they cantaloupe.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How did the Santa Lawn Ornament feel the day after Christmas?

He was de-lighted.

How does a pair of pants feel when it is ironed?

A: Depressed.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm ?

it has a blue light !

Why did Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia never get together?

Because Luke was looking for love in Alderaan places!!

Stress Jokes More Stress Jokes

Why was the computer stressed out when it got home from work?

Cause it had a hard drive.

How's college supposed to prepare you for the real world?

All it does is make you tired and stressed out and anxious and nevermind I get it.

Project Jokes More Project Jokes

What type of wood is the most expensive?

Hollywood! (Made this up while i was doing a project.)

What did the counselor say to the hologram?

You're projecting." (From Star Trek Voyager)

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

Where is children?

Latvian man respond "Children is dead from childbirth." Bus leave.

What hurts more giving birth or being kicked in the balls?

A women will normally want more children after a year or two. No man has ever wanted another kick in the balls. Case closed.

Rabbi Jokes More Rabbi Jokes

How does the rabbi make his tea?

He-brews it

Why must rabbits never miss dinner?

With out their tea they'd be Rabbis.