Lung Cancer Jokes

What did the optimist say to his doctor when he found out he had lung cancer?

Well, I'll deal with this asbestos I can!"

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How is the 85 year old Contractor that survived lung cancer doing?

Asbestos he can. I'm so sorry.

What's easier to get, aids or lung cancer?

Depends what you smoke. (Not native speaker, sorry if it doesn't make sense)

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Where do you usually find dogs?

It all depends on where you lose them.

What language do pigs speak?

Depends on which country they're from.

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Why did the doctor make an old woman cry?

He lost his patients

Why is a doctor always calm?

He got a lot of patients

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What do you call a soldier who survives mustard gas and pepper spray attacks?

A seasoned veteran.

Who survived?

The pilot who jumped out with a parachute.

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How do you deal with heavy traffic?

A: Heavy psychedelics.

Who is the only superhuman Frozone can't deal with?

Thor.

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

What did the big chimmney say to the little chimmney?

Stop smoking. You are too young to smoke

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Slow down, and possibly use a lubricant

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What's red like a strawberry, hard like beef jerky, smells like vinegar, and is found under your bed?

Me neither. Help.

What's 41 times 11?

I can't find the answer anywhere.

Asbestos Jokes More Asbestos Jokes

What did the optimist say to his doctor when he found out he had lung cancer?

Well, I'll deal with this asbestos I can!"

What's the only thing worse than asbestos?

Asworstos.

Optimist Jokes More Optimist Jokes

What does an optimist call the World Trade Center?

San Diego.

What's the difference between a optimist, a pessimist and a realist?

The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel. The pessimist sees nothing. And the realist sees the train.