Optimist Jokes

What did the optimist say to his doctor when he found out he had lung cancer?

Well, I'll deal with this asbestos I can!"

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What does an optimist call the World Trade Center?

San Diego.

What are your strengths?

I'm an optimist and a positive thinker." "Give me an example" "When do I start "

What's the difference between a optimist, a pessimist and a realist?

The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel. The pessimist sees nothing. And the realist sees the train.

What did the optimist say as he jumped off the building?

So far, so good.

What is the difference between Russian Optimist Pessimist and Realist?

An Optimist learns German. A Pessimist learns Chinese. A Realist learns AK-47.

What is the definition of an optimist?

A: An accordion player with a pager.

How many optimists does it take to change a light bulb?

Who says it's dark

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Japanese Jokes More Japanese Jokes

What does a Japanese man do when there's an erection?

He votes!

What didn't the Japanese understand nuclear missile technology?

It was a little over their heads

Recycle Jokes More Recycle Jokes

When is a pig an ecologist?

When he recycles garbage into ham.

Why has /r/jokes won an environmental award?

Everything gets recycled.

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

What do you call a foreigner who is obsessed with Chinese culture?

A zhuologist

Where do the Chinese study?

In the Pupils republic of China

End Jokes More End Jokes

What do blind people think of a basketball?

It's a never ending story.

What begins with an "s", ends with a "x" and leaves a guy blown away?

Semtex.

Multiple Personality Disorder Jokes More Multiple Personality Disorder Jokes

Why did the optimistic Chinese guy wish he had multiple personality disorder?

He wanted to be the Changs he wanted to see in the world.

What do you call a woman with multiple personality disorder?

Polly

Jump Jokes More Jump Jokes

Why doesn't Mexico have its own Olympic team?

Because all those who can run, jump, or swim are already in the US.

How do you stop a black kid from jumping on the bed?

tape velcro to the ceiling.

Example Jokes More Example Jokes

What is your biggest weakness?

Sometimes I'm too succinct" Can you give an example "Yes"

What are your strengths?

I'm an optimist and a positive thinker." "Give me an example" "When do I start "

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

When you gonna be famous?

I tell her, 'As soon as they find the bodies.'

What did Spock find in the toilet of the Starship Enterprise?

The Captain's Log.