Ounce Jokes

How do people in other countries tell if kids are using drugs?

Here in the U.S. we just ask them how many grams are in an ounce.

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What is the difference between an ounce of cocaine and an infant?

Eric Clapton would absolutely NEVER let an ounce of cociane fall 49 stories out a window onto the streets of New York.

What's the difference between a baby and an ounce of Coke?

Eric Clapton would never drop an ounce of Coke out of a window

Why was the CEO of Pepsi fired?

They caught him with an ounce of coke in his system.

What's the pound's new name?

The ounce

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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What do the average woman and kids on a snow day have in common?

They're both hoping for nine inches, but will be happy enough with five.

How do you get a kid out from a microwave?

Please answer before my wife gets home!

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did the kleptomaniacal compulsive liar say when his beekeeper friend asked him what he was running away with?

None of your beeswax!"

How to pick up chicks at the gym Pasted from Facebook: A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?

Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"

People Jokes More People Jokes

What's so cool about cemeteries?

I don't get it. People are dying to get in them.

Why do you want to be a psychiatrist?

pictures clients acting like chickens after I click my fingers* I want to help people

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What happened when porky pig fell asleep at his construction job?

The foreman fired him, saying, 'We can't have bored boars boring boards.'

Why did the nuke switch course?

Because a girl on the ground said "I have a boyfriend" later that day the nuke fell into depression

Country Jokes More Country Jokes

Why do baby boomers like fracking so much?

Because figuratively breaking the country apart isn't enough.

Which country do doctors hate?

any

U. S. Jokes More U. S. Jokes

Why did the U.S. invade Panama?

Just Cause

What's the most awkward U.S state?

O....Hi!.....o.....

Gram Jokes More Gram Jokes

How much is a gram?

Me- "Depends on what you want" Teacher- "Out, just get out"

How do people in other countries tell if kids are using drugs?

Here in the U.S. we just ask them how many grams are in an ounce.

Cocaine Jokes More Cocaine Jokes

What's the difference between a four year old and a baggie of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a baggie of cocaine fall out the window.

What is the climax to a telephone receptionist who is on cocaine ?

A second line