What do you do at a red light?

Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

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Red Light Jokes More Red Light Jokes

What's that pig doing in the middle of the road with a red light on its head?

Didn't you tell me to put out a stop swine

How do you take a Mexican family portrait?

Put them in the back of a truck and run a red light.

Check Jokes More Check Jokes

How's the meal?

Me: I dunno. Let me check *pulls out phone Me: Not good. It only got 2 likes on Instagram Waiter: ...

How do you tell a boy chromosome from a girl chromosome?

Check their jeans.

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

Why doesn't Pac-Man use Twitter?

Because he doesn't like being followed.

Why did I join Twitter?

Well I was sick of only being hated by coworkers and family so I wanted to branch out.

Respond Jokes More Respond Jokes

How could you do this to me?

she cried. I responded, "Well, I can't. That's why I'm doing it to her."

What is closer the moon or London?

To what the dad responds all serious: Do you see London from here

Text Jokes More Text Jokes

What is ISIS's favorite type of text?

Is the answer: A: Heading B: Heading C: Heading

What does the interrupting cow say?

HE SAYS MOO oh wait this joke totally doesn't work in text