How do we know God likes condoms?

How many Anti-Vaxxers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

As a mother, I choose not to screw it in. Light bulbs are dangerous weapons created by the Soviet Union, and I will not screw it in; it could severely hurt my child. As everyone knows, light bulbs are the principle source of autism in this world, and I have to take a stand on it.

When I lose faith in humanity, I think of Chili's just handing out sick, light-up beepers, trusting us to return them. And know what?

We do.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Whenever I get to a restaurant and they say there is a wait I say "do you know who I am?

because while I wait I like to be introspective

Why do New Yorkers like to visit Minnesota?

Because that's where the mini apple is!

Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

Why don't Brazilians wear condoms?

Because they all pull out.

Why does Bob Ross not use a condom?

Because he doesn't make mistakes, only happy little accidents.

Adam Jokes More Adam Jokes

What where Adam's first words to Eve?

Don't wash it in there, you'll make the fish smell like that!"

Why can't you trust an Adam?

They make up everything.

Eve Jokes More Eve Jokes

What is one of the first things that Adam and Eve did after they were kicked out?

A. They really raised Cain.

What makes fish smell?

One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Eve, but couldn't find them. God saw Adam and asked where Eve was? Adam replied, "She's down at the Ocean, taking a bath." "Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell."

God Jokes More God Jokes

Why don't you ask Joseph, the carpenter?

God: Uh huge grin cos I'm banging his wife raises hand up top

What did God say to Noah?

Make a backup, I need to re-format this."

Rib Jokes More Rib Jokes

What does a frog do when it barbecues?

Rib it...duh!

How do we know that Adam and Eve weren't black?

You can't take a rib from a black man