Why don't you ask Joseph, the carpenter?

God: Uh huge grin cos I'm banging his wife raises hand up top

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the difference between my wife and the dress?

The dress is white and gold

How to make your wife take care while driving?

Tell her that if she meets with a serious accident, the newspaper will have to print her age.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

When you ask me a question, would you prefer the blank stare or the eye roll as a response?

I like to be prepared.

What happened when the man asked the salesman for a good belt?

O.K. you asked for it" the salesman said as he gave him a good belt.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How do you keep a baby from crawling in circles?

nail the other hand to the floor.

What do you call a tree that you can fit in your hand?

A PALM TREE!!!

Raise Jokes More Raise Jokes

How do you raise a baby elephant ?

With a fork lift truck !

What's the difference between a goat and a kid?

My neighbour isn't unknowingly raising two of my goats.

God Jokes More God Jokes

What do you call it when an eclipse occurs?

When God forgets to pay the electricity bill.

How do you tell the difference between the staff and the inmates at a psychiatric hospital?

The patients get better and leave. Not everyone of the patients thinks he is God. The staff have the keys!

Bang Jokes More Bang Jokes

What's the difference between former House Speakers Hastert and Pelosi?

Pelosi helped little boys. Hastert banged little boys.

What's the best part about having multiple personality disorder?

Banging your best friend's wife every night!

Carpenter Jokes More Carpenter Jokes

Why did the Carpenters wife leave him?

Because he was screwing around.

What does a carpenter do after one night stand?

A matching one for the other side of the bed.

Joseph Jokes More Joseph Jokes

Why did Mary and Joseph's WIFI get hacked?

Because Jesus WEPt.

Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?

When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court